why we argue
Realizing something: when I'm arguing with people on SI, I'm arguing in hopes of validation. I try to empathize with the other folks on the site and connect with them. I also argue to share my hurt, in hopes of earning recognition of the problem, empathy, and finding healthier behaviors that work for both of us. So, I feel that I am arguing in order to connect with others and improve our relationship to each other.
When the guys on that site argue back, it doesn't seem like they're doing it to connect with me. It doesn't seem like they're expressing hurt or trying to ask me to help them with something or trying ti find common ground. They don't acknowledge my points at all, actually, they just try to out-logic me. To me, that says that they're arguing to be right.
When a person argues to be right, then there's really no point in arguing or discussing with them. Why? Because they won't acknowledge a damn thing you say.
Would you rather be right, or be in good standing with each other? Social harmony, or intellectual superiority? You choose.
When the guys on that site argue back, it doesn't seem like they're doing it to connect with me. It doesn't seem like they're expressing hurt or trying to ask me to help them with something or trying ti find common ground. They don't acknowledge my points at all, actually, they just try to out-logic me. To me, that says that they're arguing to be right.
When a person argues to be right, then there's really no point in arguing or discussing with them. Why? Because they won't acknowledge a damn thing you say.
Would you rather be right, or be in good standing with each other? Social harmony, or intellectual superiority? You choose.
posted by Yvea at 9:52 AM
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