I am passive-aggressive.

Instead of saying what I mean, I engage in mind games with people.  Why?  Am I afraid I'll be punished for using my voice?

Guess what?  If I am punished, then I can respond!  I don't need to be passive-aggressive about that too.

My goal for this week is to say what I mean.  My goal is to avoid vague speech.  It's not to overshare, mind you, but rather that everyone who I am in contact with will understand where I am on any given day (emotionally anyway) and will know where they stand with me.  When I think about it, all my relationships might be a lot more stable if I were more honest with the people in them.

Practice:

"How are you?"
"I'm having a rough day."
"Why?"
"I'm feeling really sad."
"What's up?"
"I'm not sure how to describe it."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really.  I want to lie down until I feel better.  Thank you for asking me.  How are you feeling today?" <~~~  Is any of that passive-aggressive?  Somehow it feels that way.  How can I express myself better?  How can I speak better with family and friends?


Try again:

"How are you?"
"I'm having a rough day."
"Why?"
"I'm feeling angry and sad."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm having irrational thoughts.  I know it's just my mental illness but they feel very real to me.  I just want to lie down and sleep until they go away."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, the thoughts feel embarrassing to talk about.  But thank you for offering to listen.  You're a good friend."