my father's absence

So I finally did it… asked the question I've been wondering for months.  I wrote my father and asked him if he foresees us seeing each other ever again and interacting.  I almost hope he says no.  Because then I can finally move on.

I do believe that Gary killed my Nana.  And I also believe that they were somehow involved with Allen Martin's death.  Dad said that he turned up in San Francisco Bay, near the Marina, with his throat cut.  How coincidental… Right.  I believe that Gary will eventually find me and kill me, or at least try to.  The only chance I really have is to cut ties with them completely.

They're angry with me for a lot no doubt.  Maybe they won't ever let it go.  Maybe Gary really will try to kill me someday.  But if I keep a distance from all of them and don't remind them to look for me, then maybe that will be it.  Dad can remember me every four months or so… I won't respond.  He'll eventually forget again.  I won't write to my grandmother anymore on my birthday, and maybe she'll forget too.  If I stay away from my mother, then maybe she won't remember me either, and she won't remind them of me.

If I disappear, I'll stay safe.

They are not safe people.  May they have many adventures of their own.  May they have so much fun in their lives that they forget about me and mine.  May they leave me, Logan, and Daniel alone.  If they're happy, then why would they bother with us?

If they're so desperate, they can go to my mother and get the money from her.  In fact, if they bug me, I might just let that one slip.  They can have their precious money, if they want it so badly.  In fact, next time I talk to my mother, I might just let her know that it's OK if she tells them she has it.  Maybe they'll show her their true colors trying to get it from her.

No more Facebook for me.  Time to disappear from their sight.