A friend and I were just discussing chakra, and he said something that caused me to understand my own nature much better. My chakra is slowly becoming much more aligned, in such that I am able to stand up straighter and carry my emotions more stably. What that means, then, is that people are beginning to matter differently to me - no less, never less. But I am finally finding stability from non-human sources. I am opening up my chakra.
At the same time, it feels as though a profound internal change is taking place, so that I am at once here and very deep inside of myself. Worrying is less of a priority now; doing and action have become the key, and more appropriately ...is knowing when, the right time and place, to do these actions, and in what order. My elements are earth and water, my friend told me. Earth has the character of being stable, calm, steady, and slow. Water, complementing earth, is usually still as well, but malleable, changing and adapting. Those with water energy find it easy to merge and go along with others' emotions and follow others without losing a sense of self. Water is agreeable, in other words. The way that those two interact within and around me is very specific. I have a core of earth that is slowly allowing in seeds of fire, but the fire and the earth chakra are balancing each other and creating a swirl - my male and female energies dancing together - that is causing me to feel not only balanced, but as though my growth is healthy and refreshed. Perhaps it is because the phoenix and the nourishing earth go hand in hand in a forest, where death and rebirth and life abounds.
The water runs through my body, making me somewhat like an underground source of water; perhaps a river or a groundwater reservoir - but earth surrounds me. It closes me in, like a tomb - my outer chakras are made of earth as well as my inner ones. So instead of earth being open to the air ...this has a very specific meaning, but I will not go into it here. Instead, I will say that the small amount of fire in my center affords me a certain freedom - the freedom to be upright. It literally helps me to stand up straight - fire is very tall-postured. What this means is, whatever is ahead, I can face it with my head held high and my morals securely burned into and flowing through my heart. I can hold true to what I believe without ever letting it affect my respect for others. I can be respectful of people while doing what I need to do. Like Uchiha Itachi. But it is important to protect my chakra as well. Fire does not only burn once it reaches the surface...
As strong as I am becoming, I feel that I am shutting or "sealing" away my pain more and more ...and yet it feels as though while I feel less, it is becoming concentrated inside one space, and yet I know how to deal with my sorrows. I'll find someplace alone to cry and feel the fire comfort the rains.
Opening up can be intense, and almost painful. That's why it is so meaningful when someone hugs you. For me, it means the most when something has opened me up too much and leaves me feeling naked, exposed and vulnerable. Something like this happened recently. Then, just a few minutes ago, my teammate Graeme gave me a hug, and even though the two were separate and unrelated, I felt the wounds from my other experience closing over and healing suddenly. It is almost as though a safe hug seals the cuts around my heart. I understand, though, that while cuts may heal and fade, injuries sometimes remain much, much longer. I am now more closed than I was before, consciously at least. I have finally come to understand that in most cases, the thing that people most want me to communicate to them is that I love them. That they are important and meaningful, that they always will have someone to confide in. That they will be okay. And to know those things, they look for the support of the ones who care about them. That's all I have to do, is care. No matter what goes on inside me. And I've found, finally too, that I feel much better when I am hiding part of myself away. I feel safer and perhaps more stable, when I keep to myself, and commit myself to Nature.
But then, on the other side, there are people who make me feel deeply safe, and thus deeply compassionate. They are the sort of people whom I hold in my heart without fear of losing them, because they were never "mine" to begin with. I suppose that such an idea is foolish - no one ever owns anyone else even for an instant - but it seems sometimes like we hold on to people ...or more appropriately, perhaps we hold ourselves to people. But anyway, as I said, there are people to whom I do not hold myself, nor them to me, save for the one bond that says we love each other and that we support each other. We will protect each other through our bond, without saying anything. Those people are special and precious to me...
At the same time, it feels as though a profound internal change is taking place, so that I am at once here and very deep inside of myself. Worrying is less of a priority now; doing and action have become the key, and more appropriately ...is knowing when, the right time and place, to do these actions, and in what order. My elements are earth and water, my friend told me. Earth has the character of being stable, calm, steady, and slow. Water, complementing earth, is usually still as well, but malleable, changing and adapting. Those with water energy find it easy to merge and go along with others' emotions and follow others without losing a sense of self. Water is agreeable, in other words. The way that those two interact within and around me is very specific. I have a core of earth that is slowly allowing in seeds of fire, but the fire and the earth chakra are balancing each other and creating a swirl - my male and female energies dancing together - that is causing me to feel not only balanced, but as though my growth is healthy and refreshed. Perhaps it is because the phoenix and the nourishing earth go hand in hand in a forest, where death and rebirth and life abounds.
The water runs through my body, making me somewhat like an underground source of water; perhaps a river or a groundwater reservoir - but earth surrounds me. It closes me in, like a tomb - my outer chakras are made of earth as well as my inner ones. So instead of earth being open to the air ...this has a very specific meaning, but I will not go into it here. Instead, I will say that the small amount of fire in my center affords me a certain freedom - the freedom to be upright. It literally helps me to stand up straight - fire is very tall-postured. What this means is, whatever is ahead, I can face it with my head held high and my morals securely burned into and flowing through my heart. I can hold true to what I believe without ever letting it affect my respect for others. I can be respectful of people while doing what I need to do. Like Uchiha Itachi. But it is important to protect my chakra as well. Fire does not only burn once it reaches the surface...
As strong as I am becoming, I feel that I am shutting or "sealing" away my pain more and more ...and yet it feels as though while I feel less, it is becoming concentrated inside one space, and yet I know how to deal with my sorrows. I'll find someplace alone to cry and feel the fire comfort the rains.
Opening up can be intense, and almost painful. That's why it is so meaningful when someone hugs you. For me, it means the most when something has opened me up too much and leaves me feeling naked, exposed and vulnerable. Something like this happened recently. Then, just a few minutes ago, my teammate Graeme gave me a hug, and even though the two were separate and unrelated, I felt the wounds from my other experience closing over and healing suddenly. It is almost as though a safe hug seals the cuts around my heart. I understand, though, that while cuts may heal and fade, injuries sometimes remain much, much longer. I am now more closed than I was before, consciously at least. I have finally come to understand that in most cases, the thing that people most want me to communicate to them is that I love them. That they are important and meaningful, that they always will have someone to confide in. That they will be okay. And to know those things, they look for the support of the ones who care about them. That's all I have to do, is care. No matter what goes on inside me. And I've found, finally too, that I feel much better when I am hiding part of myself away. I feel safer and perhaps more stable, when I keep to myself, and commit myself to Nature.
But then, on the other side, there are people who make me feel deeply safe, and thus deeply compassionate. They are the sort of people whom I hold in my heart without fear of losing them, because they were never "mine" to begin with. I suppose that such an idea is foolish - no one ever owns anyone else even for an instant - but it seems sometimes like we hold on to people ...or more appropriately, perhaps we hold ourselves to people. But anyway, as I said, there are people to whom I do not hold myself, nor them to me, save for the one bond that says we love each other and that we support each other. We will protect each other through our bond, without saying anything. Those people are special and precious to me...
posted by Yvea at 4:20 PM
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